Boys Are From Mars
by giovanbronckhorst
Summary: “Girls have got it so easy!” The collective female gasp did nothing to stop Ron talking. Hermione decides to show Ron just how much he doesn’t know.


**Boys Are From Mars**

**Disclaimer:**** It's not mine.**

**Summary:**** "Girls have got it so easy!" The collective female gasp did nothing to stop Ron talking. Hermione decides to show Ron just how much he doesn't know.**

**Centric Character(s):**** Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger. Appearances from other characters as well.**

**A/N:**** This is just an idea that came from an argument I had with a guy friend of mine when he insinuated that girls have it easy in life. I guess this is more of a girl read, but I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about. Reading and reviewing is fantastic *hint hint***

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Hermione sat huddled by the fire with Pavarti, Ginny and Lavender in the Gryffindor common room, giving the others a very detailed description of _The Princess Bride_. All the girls simpered and "aww-ed" at the right parts and by the end tears had sprung up in Ginny's and Pavarti's eyes.

"That is _so_ sweet!" Ginny gushed as Hermione uttered the words "As you wish," while dabbing frantically at her tear stained cheeks.

Sitting a slight way away, Ron and Harry exchanged a glance and sniggered under their breaths.

"Is something funny?" Hermione questioned sharply.

"Yeah- you! You girls sit there and get sad over something that's not real or sad! Girls have it so easy."

It seemed every head fell silent and turned to stare in Ron's direction. The boys in the room looked merely curious as to where this would go, but the girls all glared as if Ron had committed a cardinal sin.

"What did you just say?" Hermione enunciated every word perfectly and slowly. Harry, sensing the rising tension and danger levels, backed slightly away from Ron. Ron seemed not to notice the irate female faces and continued talking.

"I said, girls have got it easy." The collective female gasp did nothing to stop Ron talking. "You can all cry like that whenever you want to. If me or Harry did that, we'd be laughed at!"

"So because girls aren't afraid to show their emotions, we've got an easier life?"

"No, not just that. Like, if a boy and girl go out, the boy has to pay," Ron accused.

Hermione stood roughly from her chair. "You do not! The only reason the boy pays is because he thinks that means he's being gentleman-ly. If we offer to pay for ours, boys get offended."

"I wouldn't!" Ron argued.

"That's because you are the furthest thing from a gentleman I have ever seen!"

Ron also stood now and the two fifteen year olds glared harshly at each other. There was a sheer silence in the Gryffindor common room for a further two minutes as everyone watched the exchange.

"Harry, back me up," Ron demanded of his best friend, who'd remained wisely silent until then.

"No way," Harry chuckled, knowing what was good for himself as Hermione turned her glare on him.

"Don't you try and bring Harry into this!" she yelled.

"I'll bring in who I want to bring in, right Fred? George?" Ron turned behind himself to look for backup in his twin brothers, who had been uncharacteristically quiet until then.

"No way, bro," they replied together, backing away to stand next to Harry.

Hermione smiled to signal her victory but Ron refused to let it go. "Girls _do_ have it easy though," he continued to argue. "If you're so adamant that you don't, tell me why."

Hermione and nearly all the girls in the room shared the same first thought but daren't argue the point in a room full of immature teenage boys. Hermione opened and closed her mouth repeatedly, trying to find a point that wouldn't embarrass her greatly. When nothing came out of her mouth for a few moments, Ron smirked victoriously. "See?" he said as the colour began to rise in Hermione's cheeks.

The girls, not appreciating the insinuation that they easy lives, immediately rose to Hermione's defence. Ginny, Pavarti and Lavender all rose from their seats and approached Ron. He stood his ground, but didn't seem to relish the idea of standing up to the three on his own with no help from Harry, Fred, George, Neville, Dean or Seamus. The latter two in fact, stood together and watched the scene with great amusement.

Once all the girls were close enough to Ron they began ranting and raving at him, wagging fingers as they went. Ron began yelling back in his own defence. Soon, no words were decipherable among the din the five of them were making. Finally reaching the end of her tether, Hermione whipped her wand out of her robes and the entire room fell silent. In one fluid movement, her wand was pointed directly at Ron's face and her lips were uttering words before they could be stopped.

"Effeminatus dius!"

The room remained silent as Ron's face twisted up in pain. After a few moments, realising her had felt no pain, Ron relaxed the muscles in his face. The silence continued for another few second until Ron scoffed, "yeah… great spell Hermione."

Hermione held her contented smile. "Goodnight Ronald; Harry." She, followed by the other three girls, turned sharply and headed up to their dormitory. As they went, sniggering, they head Ron's voice as he spoke to Harry. "What spell was that, anyway?"

*****

The following morning, Hermione was one of the first awake in Gryffindor Tower, followed closely by Ginny. It was 8am on Saturday morning and most of the people in the castle liked to sleep in. Hermione knew of one person who'd had a less than comfortable night.

When Hermione and Ginny descended the stairs to the common room, they saw him sitting in an armchair in front of the empty fireplace. From the looks of it, he had been sat there a long while.

His arms were laced around his stomach with his hands meeting in the middle of his back. His face was white making him look rather ill and his legs were pulled up so his knees and chest rested together.

"Rough night?" Hermione asked gently, with a small smile on her face.

The red headed boy turned slowly to look at her. "I don't know what's wrong with me…" he whispered slowly. "Hermione… I think I might be dying."

"If you feel that bad, why don't you go to the hospital wing?" Hermione quizzed, dropping herself onto the sofa next to a smirking Ginny. Neither took Ron's talk of death seriously.

"I can't go to Madam Pomfrey with this," Ron insisted. "I can't. Hermione, I'm bleeding."

Hermione glanced over to Ron with an upturned eyebrow. "Bleeding?" she repeated.

Ron's face grew steadily redder. "Yeah, Hermione, bleeding. I've got a stomach ache and my back hurts and… I'm bleeding."

Hermione and Ginny shared a small smile behind Ron's back. "I can't see any blood," Hermione continued innocently.

"It's not exactly a place you can see," Ron mumbled. Hermione and Ginny both fought the desperate urge to laugh.

"Oh?"

"Er… Hermione?" Ron asked timidly. "You know those things with girls? Those… periods?" The word seemed to be hard for Ron to get out. "Don't you get things like this?"

"Don't be silly Ron. You boys don't get those," Ginny replied with a sickly smile. Not waiting for Ron to reply, the two exited out of the portrait hole and went to the Great Hall for breakfast.

*****

After breakfast, Hermione and Ginny decided to give it a while before they returned to the common room. They made a quick visit to Hagrid, caught up on a little homework in the library and strolled the grounds together. They figured they'd make Ron wait a while until they got back to him.

"What do you think? You reckon he's figured it yet?" Ginny asked her friend.

"No. I doubt he's got it yet. He'd rather think there's something serious wrong than that I cursed him."

Ginny laughed gently. "I'm sure he'll never argue about girls have easy lives ever again."

*****

Returning to the Gryffindor common room early afternoon, the two girls smiled to see Ron still huddled in the chair. Stifling their smiles and laughter, they approached him and put on the sympathetic smiles they had been perfecting during the morning.

"How you felling, Ron?" Ginny asked, nudging her way through the crowd of people around him.

"Horrible," he muttered quietly, his face still white and his eye drooping. "I feel so bad…"

"Aw, Ron," Hermione said. "Are you sure you don't want to go and see Madam Pomfrey? I could take you down."

"No!" Ron stated quickly. "But… Hermione, could I talk to you?"

"Sure."

"Move it people," Ginny ordered, herding the people away so Hermione and Ron could talk in private.

"Hermione, my… nipples really hurt. It's like they're throbbing. I'm in so much pain, Hermione."

"That's what our periods feel like," she replied nonchalantly.

"You poor girls," Ron whispered, just loud enough that Hermione caught it. "I can't imagine doing this every month." The thought made Ron visibly shudder.

Hermione felt sympathy rush over her. She gently laid a hand on his shoulder and smiled. "Ron… I did this." He looked up at her, confused. "I cursed you so that you'd have to spend a day having all the problems girls do after what you said last night," she explained.

Ron barely seemed able to utter a word, until he realised that she was trying to make him admit girls had it hard. "Pshh… I don't know what you're talking about. Problems? This is easy," he said, contradicting his earlier complaints. He rose unsteadily to his feet and gripped the bottom of his back as he made his way to the stairs leading up to the dormitory.

Hermione's steady grin never left her face. "Oh, you might not _hate_ it yet… but if you think you're uncomfortable now, wait until the mood swings start and your breasts grow."

Ron's steps immediately ceased. "Breasts?"

*****

**A/N:**** I'd love those reviews that I was talking about… you know you want to! **


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